| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2003|09:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Paradoxx | ] |
I am afraid that in January I am going to get laid off. Though I know in the long run I will be better for it, I am afraid of going through the life changes it will make. I have my second job and when the bakers position opens up I will be making more doing that than working at walmart but it would be nice to have the two incomes for a little while.
I am almost able to hold my head above water again. I wonder if this is phase 1 of the many changes that I feel are going to happen to me next year? |
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| Changes... |
[Dec. 9th, 2003|04:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Paradoxx | ] |
On Jan 1 of this past year I knew that day that this year was going to be bad. And it was... it was horribly emotional. I experienced bouts of depression and heartbreak. All to the point where I just wanted to give up on everything I even knew.
I had a feeling that when the next Jan 1st comes around I would/might get a feeling of what might come but I have gotten the impression already and it's quite strong. This new year is going to bring me lots of changes. Not all bad. In fact as a whole I see this next year being a lot better than this past year. The changes aren't really good or bad and it feels like they could be life changes. Changes that break my habits.
Hmmmmm, we will have to see but it's just a strong impression that I get. What do you people think about it? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2003|04:17 pm] |
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| OHHH HELL NO!!!!! |
[Dec. 3rd, 2003|02:26 pm] |
I don't know how my best friend did it but I give her props. This job of mine is shit!!!! I can't do this almost everyday for 7 to 8 hours on 3-4 hours of sleep.
I have 2 managers. One is a bitch and the other likes to hear himself talk and I have to deal with that for 8 hours a night at the other job.
I am looking for another bakery job TODAY and I am quitting this job saturday. Need to pick up my check first.
For any that I may have dissapointed, I'm sorry. I just can't do it.
This job sucks!!!! |
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| Arghhhh!!!!! Be careful what you ask for..... |
[Dec. 2nd, 2003|03:22 pm] |
I think I asked for too much when I found myself bored and staying home all day long. Now I wish for those days again. I will be working almost 70 hours this week. Achh!!!
This bakers position better come soon. They better open up a new store soon because I'm tired and irritable and still a little sick.
Then the manager had me down for 5:30 am, I'm like hello I don't get out of work until 7 am. He didn't like that thought too much. Oh well, I think I am just going to look for another job. Hopefully something that will get me right into first shift bakery instead of having to wait for an opening of baker in this job that is 3rd shift. I am so sick of working 3rd shift. I have a feeling I may have to quit wether I want to or not.
Lord help me. |
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| Interesting sight... |
[Dec. 1st, 2003|09:26 pm] |
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I drove through downtown New Haven and caught a glimpse of a Yalie playing air guitar.... Don't see that everyday. |
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| Somebody smack me... |
[Nov. 24th, 2003|03:50 pm] |
I am such an idiot. If anyone is familiar with Josh Groban's music you know the song Vincent(Starry Starry Night). I have been listening to this cd for God knows how long and I just figured out what the song is about.
I think it would have helped if I looked at the back of the cd and saw the title of the song. I spent this whole time thinking the song was called just Starry Starry Night.
DUH!! |
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| Blahhhh |
[Nov. 24th, 2003|03:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Duncan Sheik | ] |
I'm tired,sick and run down. I feel like I'm 40 when I'm only 25. My having a life is ceasing to exist as I work 2 full time jobs and take classes. And just when I think I'm going to get somewhere my job either messes up my check or I get a bill that is insane. Like my car insurance for instance is like 100 dollars more than it usually is. What the hell? I'm getting nowhere and I have to save up money to move out by next summer. I don't even remember the last time I was able to put money into the savings.
ARGHH....just felt like bitching. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2003|09:57 am] |
Started my other job yesterday. Went quite well and the best part is that my manager remembered or rather did what he said he was going to do and is getting me in to work with bakers and do some baking during the day to get me in the bakers position faster when one opens up. So Yippie on that one.
Also he said It may be sooner than he had originally thought which was going to be at the most 3 months. So the sooner the better.
I would like to introduce you to my new job called Panera Bread. I know there are some in the Boston area so those from there know what I am talking about. I like their concept of a bakery-cafe. It's really cool. I was quite impressed. The baked goods are actually quite good as well. So stop by sometime. Especially if you are near the Meriden/Wallingford area of Connecticut. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2003|07:49 am] |
I start my second job on wednesday but I don't know if I should bother. There are too many uncertainties and I already have no time as it is. But I also need the money. What to do?
Ohh also get my 5th tattoo today. Yippie!!! I am so overdue for one. |
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| Blah... |
[Nov. 14th, 2003|12:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | silence | ] |
I'm tired, sick and can't sleep. I can't think at all. The road before me is paved with nothingness. Black, desolate.
It hurts my head to think.
Where do I go from here? Do I take faith and travel on or turn back on roads that I know well? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2003|01:36 am] |
Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a
good communicator. Incredibably loving and
loyal when your trust is gained and you are
fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is
in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river
but nobody truly knows you.
What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 12th, 2003|11:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Celldweller | ] |
MY LITTLE BABY LOST HIS FIRST TOOTH LAST NIGHT!!!! HE WAS EXCITED. WOW, HE'S GROWING UP FAST!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2003|09:30 pm] |
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I'm going to meet a guy tomorrow that I've been talking to for a little bit online. Pray I don't get hauled off into the abyss. :P |
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| I am not trying to make excuses.... |
[Nov. 10th, 2003|04:46 pm] |
A few days ago a friend of mine asked me why if I was christian do I swear and talk about certain topics with people at work that would make some christian cringe.
My answer was that I had no excuse for my behaviour. I know what's right and what's wrong and in actuallity the life that I'm living right now is much more subdued than how I used to be. I cringe when I think about the way I had behaved only a couple of years ago. I know that my walk with God should be straighter and it isn't and in all honesty I don't understand how some christians can be so tunnel visioned in their walk. Sometimes it really bothers me and sometimes I get jealous that they really have their shit together.
But what I think that some people fail to understand is that yes, I may not be living the way I should but at least I have a relationship with God. 7 short months ago I couldn't say that.
I started out this past year with a dead relationship to God. I couldn't pray, praise or utter a word to him. I was walking down a path of mental destruction. I was depressed and lonely. I seriously wanted to kill myself and often thought of ways that I could do it. I spent many days just laying in bed crying myself to sleep.
One day while I was driving I thought about how I was failing myself in my goals, failing my loved ones expectations of me and mostly how I had the chance to have to one of the most important things I ever wanted in life but because of how I had lived my life I believed God only showed me what I could have had and then took it away from me. Could God be so cruel?
Just then I got into a car accident on the highway. God saved my life and that wasn't just the first time he had done so. I was okay but the car was seriously damaged. I freaked out because I began to wonder if I really had tried to kill myself. I still don't know to this day if I had or not. My mind was gone.
A week or so had gone by after that day and I was still feeling the same if not worse. I layed in bed one day crying and I asked, God, why did you leave me? I had never heard God talk to me in my life until that moment. It was the sweetest sound I ever heard. He whispered -I never left you-
My spiritual life didn't bounce back up after that. It took a long time. It started with a word here or there and eventually built itself up. Over this past summer God has done much healing in me with things that I had struggled with my whole life. When I look back on how my life was not too long ago I wonder how I got that way. I always had believed in God and always had some kind of relationship with him. Feeling void of him like I did during that time was the scariest feeling I ever had. It was dark,cold,black and lonely. I never want to feel that way again.
Yes there are things I struggle with all the time. There are things I know I shouldn't do. But at least I can say that I have a relationship with God again. It may not be the best but it's there. God will work on me in his time. All I am asked to do is follow him as best I can and allow him to work on me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2003|10:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | distressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Evanescence | ] |
Which Buffy The Vampire Slayer quote are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
"I'm drowning in you, Summers." -- Spike; Season 5, 'Crush' You're hopelessly romantic and lovelorn -- not like that's a bad thing. The world could always use more romantics. Just make sure your rose-colored glasses don't keep you from seeing reality. You might end up with that precious heart of yours broken |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2003|07:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
i tend to speak in riddles, and getting a straight answer out of me is indeed a notable moment. while i may act a little crazy, i am actually quite lucid and tend to be the voice of reason. my sanity is in a good balance with my insanity.
how mad are you?
this quiz was made by piksy |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2003|10:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Evanescence | ] |
YOU ARE AN ORANGE ROSE!
You have a secret, don't you? In fact, you probably
have many of them. It's not that you're trying
to be deceptive - far from it. You just can't
seem to find the courage to express your
desires outright. Maybe it's that boy or girl
you've always had eyes for, or that job you've
always wanted. You have all the tools to get
what you want, but something inside you is
always stopping you from going out to get what
you want. You have a few close friends who
recognize the potential in you, and they often
wonder why you just don't go get that love,
that job, that thing you want so much. When you
do finally find the courage to break out of
your shell the world had better watch out,
because you are a force to be reckoned with!
Congratulations!
And now
for something completely different....
What color Rose are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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